


I Want You for a Lifetime, So If You're Gonna Think Twice, I Don't Wanna Know

by Maredwill



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Bi Sora, Dream Eater Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Drunk Kisses, Gay Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idk how I managed, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, Pining Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Post-Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Sappy, also, but it's okay so does Sora, featuring: another romantic island fruit, he has it bad, so sappy oh my lord, world order where
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28624743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maredwill/pseuds/Maredwill
Summary: Riku tries to help Sora take his mind off the events of the past by going on a vacation. While they enjoy the sand and the waves they also learn a few things. Like what love is, and how to kiss, and (eventually) how to ask for what you really want.++++++++Title from Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada. Recommend listening while reading, especially at the end.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 85





	I Want You for a Lifetime, So If You're Gonna Think Twice, I Don't Wanna Know

**Author's Note:**

> While I know the overall plot I haven't finished playing through all of the games so if my details seem off or something is wonky or fanon instead of canon just...gloss over it lol.

As they walked along the boardwalk to their temporary home, Sora's head wouldn't stop moving. He kept commenting on everything, the water, the people, the beachside stores and stands. Three times Riku had to grab him before he walked into someone because he wasn't paying attention. 

Riku couldn't be happier. After everything that happened, Sora was forced off of missions unless it was absolutely necessary, encouraged by King Mickey to rest and take care of himself. Sora kept insisting he was fine, but everyone knew that was a lie, especially Riku who was diving into his nightmares nearly every other night. 

But now, Sora was grinning ear to ear, taking in the new world Riku surprised him with. 

"It's so beautiful here, Riku!" He said for the umpteenth time. 

Riku smiled back and bumped his shoulder lightly. "I'm glad you like it."

"I do," Sora said, stretching out the 'Os.' "I can't wait to see where we're staying."

Riku couldn't hold back his smirk. He couldn't wait for Sora to see it either. Once he decided Sora needed a non-life-threatening journey to lift his spirits, he spent a week researching the perfect place. Munny was no issue, but it had been a challenge finding a world that was safe and also somewhere Sora hadn't been that would stir up bad memories. And once he found it, he knew immediately. Serenity. A small island world the heartless hadn't gotten around to. It was similar to Destiny Islands in that it was covered in beaches and surrounded by a gorgeous ocean, but plenty different enough it wasn't just a copy. 

"Hey what's over there?" Sora ran off in the direction of a stand with a small line of people, his bag hitting his thigh as he ran. Riku followed, chest clenching fondly at his enthusiasm. 

When Riku got closer he realized Sora had stopped in front of a fruit stand, several tables packed to the brim with cartons of colorful fruit, some Riku recognized and some he had never seen before. Sora was holding the one that caught his eye, a strange large fruit that looked hard like a coconut, except the shell was a deep, slightly shiny black color. The dark color churned Riku's stomach and he almost told Sora to put it down.

"That there is a zebra fruit!" A man said. He was in a white and blue tank top and red shorts and smiling at them warmly from behind the table. 

"A zebra fruit?" Sora tilted his head.

The man nodded. "Yup! Island specialty. Only place you will ever find one. I can give you a free sample."

Sora nodded enthusiastically, never turning down an offer to eat. While they waited for the man to open the fruit he looked up at Riku, blue eyes sparkling with the excitement of something new. Riku smiled back, wondering how Sora's smile could still be the brightest thing on a sunny island. 

A loud crack brought Riku back to his senses and he turned to see the man pulling the fruit open. 

"Take a look at that," he said, smiling expectantly.

It really was something to look at. Inside was a pattern of white and dark brown swirls. It almost looked like a painting. Riku had never seen any fruit look like that.

"Wow."

"Woah!" Sora yelled, leaning closer. "Riku look!" He pulled his eyes away from the fruit and back to the man. "Can we try it?"

"Of course!" He said jovially. He picked up a scooper and there was a "whoosh" noise as it dug into the soft fleshy inside of the fruit. Sora was bouncing up and down excitedly next to him. 

"Here you are," the man said with a flourish as he handed them their pieces in little cups. 

Sora immediately popped the whole piece in his mouth and froze. Riku's stomach clenched in worry when Sora gripped onto the table next to them and made a sound. 

"What-"

"Try this!" Sora yelled and turned toward him, eyes wide and mouth still full. "Right now!" He grabbed Riku's piece and practically shoved it into his mouth. He was going to protest but then the juice hit his tongue. It was like his tastebuds exploded. The texture of the fruit was soft and almost buttery, but the flavor was the most amazing part. It tasted like chocolate, but if chocolate was a juice. Except if someone had offered Riku chocolate juice he would have turned his face away in disgust but this was delicious. It was sweet and juicy and creamy and chocolatey all at the same time and it somehow worked. 

"Oh my god," he said, hand over his mouth.

"Right?" Sora yelled again, eyes and smile both wide. "It's amazing!" He faced the salesman again.

"I'll have four please."

The man laughed loudly. "Not surprised. I've yet to meet someone who tried the zebra fruit who didn't like it. I'll give you four to take with you, and I'll scoop out the rest of this one so you can eat on your way. On the house."

"Really? Thanks!"

"Of course." The man smiled warmly at Sora and then Riku. "Welcome to Serenity. I hope you both enjoy your stay."

++++++++

A few minutes later Riku had a canvas bag with four zebra fruits slung around his left arm, his and Sora's bags on his right. Sora was humming happily next to him, using his two free hands to eat the rest of the free fruit the man had given them. 

"Here." Sora held out his fork and Riku leaned down to take the offered bite, trying hard to control his blush. 

"Wow," Sora, ever distractable said. "Look at that house." He pointed up to their left. On a grassy hill above the beach was a large beach house, surrounded by trees on all sides except the front, where there was a direct route to the beach and water. 

"It's nice," Riku commented, trying hard to hold back his smirk.

"Yeah. Whoever lives there is lucky."

"I bet," Riku said with a laugh, turning and heading up the beach towards the grass. He heard Sora stop walking behind him.

"Wait. Are WE staying here? Riku!" 

Riku kept walking up the path to the house, laughing openly now. Sora came running from behind him and grabbed his bicep. 

"You're serious?" He asked, wonder in his voice. Riku could barely look at his appreciative gaze. 

"Yeah. I told you we were going on a vacation." His stomach flipped when Sora grinned brightly at him again. 

"You're the best." He huffed when Sora yanked him into a tight hug, barely managing to not drop the fruit on him. 

"I can't wait to see the inside!" Sora let go and took off up the hill. Riku smiled and ran after him, warmth pooling in his stomach not from the sun beating down on them but from the familiarity of Sora's whooping laughter as they ran together. 

++++++++

"Wow, this room is beautiful." Sora stood in the middle of the master bedroom and titled his head back, twirling around. Besides the room being massive it had a glass roof, giving a perfect view of the sky above that was going to be beautiful at night. 

They had already looked at the whole downstairs part of the house, Sora dashing from room to room commenting on the decor and the kitchen and the fake fireplace in the living room. Once he got that out of his system Riku suggested they go upstairs and pick out their bedrooms since the house came with three, but he already knew Sora would want this one. 

Sora finally stopped spinning and turned to the door where Riku was leaning. "I want to see your room," he said, running past Riku and into the second entrance in the hall. 

"Hey, where's your stuff?" 

Rike chuckled. "In the other bedroom." He pointed to the other end of the hallway. "It's nicer than this one." He noticed Sora's shoulders slump. 

"Oh."

"What's wrong?" Riku asked, stepping forward. Sora spun around before he could reach him, smile back on his face. 

"Nothing! Let me see your room." 

He ran off again, a bounce back in his step but the alarm bells were already going off in Riku's head. He knew Sora's real smiles, and that was not a real smile. 

_Sora was sad. Sora can never be sad. Fix it fix it fix it._

He made his way more slowly down the hall and found Sora inspecting his room, another fake smile greeting him once he walked in.

"It's great! I can see why you picked it."

"What's the matter?" Riku repeated gently. 

"Nothing," Sora insisted. "This place is great, your room is great, I'm really happy to be here. I'm going to unpack my stuff." 

Riku frowned and wracked his brain to try and figure out the problem as Sora brushed past him. He thought about their bedrooms at the tower, right next to each other, perfect for when Sora needed comfort after a nightmare. 

He grabbed Sora's wrist right as he got into the hallway. "You know I will still feel if you need me," he said gently, sending a wave of reassurance down the link between them.

Sora turned to him and reciprocated but the smile still wasn't reaching his eyes.

"I know. It's fine Riku really. I was just confused for a second because I forgot about the third room." He removed his wrist from Riku's grasp and made his way down the hall. 

Riku watched him shut his door and sighed. He reentered the room and picked up his bag, quietly bringing his stuff to the other room. 

++++++++

After he unpacked Riku took a long shower enjoying being able to wash off their travel and relax under the hot steam. Regular bathing was one of the things he missed the most when on missions. The first thing he'd do when he got back to the tower was soak in the large bath. 

Once he got dressed, not bothering to dry his hair because he knew it would dry in no time in this heat. He found Sora downstairs, munching on another zebra fruit, clear juice running down his chin. 

"There you are!" Sora said when he walked in. "You were taking forever. Only you would take a shower BEFORE going to the beach."

Riku shrugged. "I smelled like traveling." He opened cabinets until he found a glass and then filled it with water from the sink. "What do you want to do first?' He asked after taking a sip.

"Hmm," Sora said around another mouthful, tilting his head thoughtfully as he chewed. 

A drop of juice rolled from Sora's chin down his neck and chest, disappearing into his tank top. Riku had to fight the urge to lick his lips. 

"I'm hungry," Sora finally said when he swallowed, and then immediately took another bite.

Riku laughed. "I can see that. We have a few options. This is the quieter beach. It has a few casual restaurants and the food stands we saw, but not much else. There's another beach on the other side of the island with fancier restaurants and an amusement park and all of that stuff. And there's plenty to see in the city in the middle too."

Sora hummed again, seeming to have finally (thankfully) noticed the juice on his neck and grabbing a napkin to wipe it off. "I'd rather stay around here since this is where we're staying. We passed so many food stalls on the way over here, I want to try them all!"

Riku smiled and put his empty cup in the sink. "Well let me know when you're ready and we can go buy you all the food."

"Wait. You're not going to eat that?"

"Eat what?"

Sora rolled his eyes and pointed. "The other half. I left it for you."

Rike followed Sora's finger to the counter next to him, one half of the black and white swirls resting on top of the cutting board.

"Oh. Thanks." He picked it up and brought it over to the table, stomach turning when Sora gave him a pleased smile.

++++++++

Sora didn't manage to try all of the food options, but he came close. Then he and Riku spent the rest of the day at the beach until the sun set, and then Sora came back and had even more food. Now he was laying on his bed, stomach full and wet hair plastered to the back of his neck staring up at the stars. 

He sighed. He could hear Riku's shower still running and Sora wondered for the millionth time how someone could spend so long in the shower. Especially when it was their second shower of the day. Still, the least he could do is be patient and let Riku enjoy himself after going through all this trouble. Sora still couldn't believe he arranged all of this. A few weeks ago he had been moaning about missing the beach, and even though Destiny Islands was an option in theory, he couldn't handle being there. He had been back once and while he was happy to see his mother it...didn't feel like home anymore. And that made him feel weird and sad. And now, just like that, Riku had whisked him away to another island world. 

Sora smiled softly as he kept staring up at the night sky. He knew everyone was worried about him since he apparently sucked at pretending to be fine, evidenced by Riku claiming the room closer to his. But he hated having nothing to do. At least if he was on missions he wouldn't have so much time to think. Even if a part of him dreaded the idea of having to fight again, it was better than _thinking._ About his friends, about Riku. Sora calling his name, Riku charging into the-

He rolled over and groaned into the mattress. This is why he hates thinking. He pushed himself up. He needed to do something. He paced around his room trying to decide. Riku had already packed their leftover food away and they had already called Kairi earlier. There was a TV downstairs but he couldn't focus on that right now. 

"I know!" He ran downstairs to the kitchen, happy to have a distraction. 

The island apparently used zebra fruits in a lot of recipes, he learned when they went out to explore earlier. San, the man who owned the fruit stand had laughed when Sora came back to buy two more later that day and also sold him a smoothie to make. The ingredients came together fresh in the bottles but they had to blend them with milk themselves. He dug around the kitchen until he found the blender and the milk and got to work. He mixed and poured out the first one and then paused, wondering if Riku would be ready for his soon. He quietly walked over to the stairs and strained his ears trying to see if he could still hear the showering running. Nothing. 

He walked back to the counter and made the second smoothie, finding some metal straws to add the finishing touch. He brought them over to the table and then walked back to the stairs again. It was still quiet and Riku didn't come down. Sora went back over to the table and looked at the smoothies, chewing on his thumbnail. 

"Maybe I should bring it to him," he muttered. But he didn't want to be too clingy. He knew he had been clingy lately, but he couldn't help it. When Riku was out of his sight for too long the tightness in his chest grew and grew. _Riku fighting for him. Riku dying._

He shook his head and picked up the smoothies, ready to just knock on the door and offer it to him. He turned the corner out of the kitchen and yelped.

"Riku!"

"Sora," Riku said at a much lower volume, eyes wide.

"You're-" he cut himself off before he could say "you're back" because that was stupid. Riku hadn't gone anywhere. "Your...hair is wet. Here I made you a smoothie." He quickly shoved the drink into Riku's hands so he could change the subject.

Riku laughed and came the rest of the way down the stairs. "How do you have room for more food. You ate three times as much as me and I'm still stuffed."

Sora rolled his eyes. "It's _dessert._ There's always room for dessert. And how are you still full you were in the shower for an hour."

Riku smiled at him in that way he did. Like Sora was both infinitely ridiculous and precious, and it made something in Sora clang _impress him impress him impress him_.

"Mmm. Wow. Okay, yeah I can make room for that." 

Sora smiled, pleased, and then stuck his tongue out. "I told you so. Come on." He grabbed Riku's free hand and led him back up the stairs to do what he had been dying to do this whole time.

"Where are we going?"

"My room. You have to see it!"

"See wha..." Riku trailed off and Sora smirked as he watched him stare up in amazement. "Oh."

He squeezed his friend's hand. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yeah..." Riku trailed off and looked back down at Sora with that look again. "It is."

Sora felt it again, that itch that told him he needed to move he needed to _do_ something.

"Come here." He jumped onto the bed, careful to keep his drink steady. He pulled back the thin sheet and patted the spot next to him. When Riku didn't move, Sora pouted. "What, are you going to make me watch the stars by myself?"

Finally, Riku shook his head, a fond smile on his face that made Sora's cheeks flush. He climbed in and Sora scooted closer until their arms were pressed against each other, a specific point of warmth even in the humid summer heat. He looked up at the stars and rested his head on Riku's shoulder. He felt Rikus tense and then relax like he always did.

Sora knew he had been touching Riku a lot lately, always needing to be in his space. He just couldn't help it. He needed the reminder. That Riku was real. That he was alive.

++++++++

The first nightmare happened on the third night. Riku had been tugged out of sleep and into it so quickly he barely registered what happened before he was slashing through a towering heartless. It was a true nightmare heartless, a frightening amalgamation of different types. Sora was on the floor in front of it, no keyblade in sight. 

"Riku!" He yelled when the monster fell. He held his hand out and Riku was running toward him. 

Suddenly he was lying down and staring at a ceiling. He jumped out of bed and ran the short distance to Sora's room, finding him trembling in bed. 

Riku quickly crawled in behind him and pulled him close. 

"It's okay. It was just a dream. I've got you." 

He repeated the same words he said each time, running his hand through Sora's hair and trying to make him feel safe. 

++++++++

Riku didn't get much sleep that night, staying up long after Sora went back to sleep. When he woke up again it was still nearly dark, the first rays of the sun just barely creeping across the sky. It was hot, his head hurt and his arm had fallen asleep under Sora's head. Sora. 

He sighed and shifted, looking at the boy next to him. Riku's chest clenched the way it always did when he thought of his friend. Sora was sleeping peacefully now, face smooth and eyelids still. A vast difference between the trembling Sora he comforted last night. The traces were still there, in the dark circles under his eyes, his position curled against Riku. 

He slipped his arm from under Sora's head and turned onto his back, looking up at the sky. Even when they were kids they never had this many sleepovers. And he never pictured them waking up in each other's beds so often when they were older. Not in this way at least. A part of him resented that he was only allowed to be with Sora like this when he was suffering. 

He shook his head and squashed that thought. He couldn't think like that anymore. He was lucky to be here, happy to be able to help Sora in any way he could. Looking after him was Riku's purpose. 

His head throbbed and he decided he couldn't stay here any longer. He slowly snuck out of the bed knowing Sora, a late riser on a good day, wouldn't be up for many hours. He went back to his room and got dressed, trying to figure out what to do by himself. Reading was out of the question with his headache. He walked to his window and looked out at the endless beach, unusually desaturated in the early morning light. The sand called out to him, and he decided a run would be perfect. 

++++++++

On his way back from the other side of the beach, calves burning from no longer being accustomed to running on the sand he saw San and Kellior beginning to set up the fruit stand. By this point any trace of night was almost gone. San caught his eye and waved to him and Riku ran up onto the boardwalk. 

"Morning Riku!" He said in his booming voice. The co-owner Kellior waved. "You're out early. Where's my best customer?"

Ever since the first day San got Sora hooked on the zebra fruit, they had been back to the stand at least twice a day. 

"Sleeping. He's not exactly a morning person." 

San's laughed filled the morning air. "I see. Well we're almost open if you're ready to stock up now. I don't mean to interrupt your run though."

Riku pictured the three zebra fruits they had in their fridge and knew those would be finished by the end of the day. 

"No you're prob- oh!" Riku gasped and leaned over, holding his stomach. 

"Riku?" San yelled. "What's the matter?"

It was their link. Panic and fear was gushing through it. Something was wrong. 

"I-I have to go." He took off down the boardwalk, trying to get to the house as fast as possible.

++++++++

"Sora!" He yelled the second he slammed through the door. "Sora!"

"Kairi I have no idea where he could have gone what if he- Riku!" Sora's yelling was cut off at his arrival, both of them staring in shock for a second before the gummy phone slipped from Sora's hands and he was running into Riku's arms.

"What..."

"I thought something happened to you! I woke up and you weren't around anywhere and I didn't think you'd just leave without telling me!"

Riku let out a breath, his heart still hammering at super speed thinking Sora was in danger, his emotions trying to catch up to the situation. 

"Sora? Riku? What is going on?" Kairi's tinny voice said from the gummy phone.

"I'm fine! There's been a misunderstanding. We'll call you back later." 

She hung up and Riku rested a hand on the back of Sora'a head. "I went for a run."

He felt Sora freeze. "A...run?"

"Yeah. You were asleep I didn't want to wake you." 

"A run" Sora repeated. "I'm sorry. I'm so stupid!"

"Hey no," Riku squeezed him tighter. "You're not stupid. I'm sorry you were scared but I thought...why didn't you check the link first?" He asked, trying to make it sound like a sincere question and not an accusation. 

Sora groaned and dug his head further into Riku's chest, shaking it back and forth. "I didn't even think about that," he whined. I just woke up and thought about my nightmare and I expected you to be there and then you weren't ANYWHERE and I panicked. God I scared Kairi too this was all so dumb."

Riku let out a chuckle, brain and body and heart finally in sync that Sora was safe and he could relax. "It's okay. I get it." He did. He worried about something happening to Sora every second he was alive. "Everything is fine now." He laughed again as Sora groaned more in embarrassment and nodded. 

"Feel better?" He asked, running a hand through Sora's soft hair. "Want breakfast?"

That did the trick. Excited, if watery blue eyes stared up at him. 

"Yeah! Let's get breakfast." 

Riku smiled and stepped out of the hug. "Okay. Let me shower first."

Sora groaned loudly in complaint this time and grabbed onto him again, arms sliding around his hips in a way that always made him blush. 

"No that's too long I'm hungry now!"

"Five minutes," Riku said and removed Sora's arms so he could go upstairs. 

"You will NOT possibly shower in five minutes."

"Ten then!" 

"Fat chance." He could hear the pouting in Sora's voice. 

"Fifteen!"

++++++++

"I'm gonna go for a dip. Coming?"

Sora shook his head, content to lie in the sun with a belly full of fish sandwiches. He felt a gentle brush across his head and heard Riku get up and head to the ocean. 

Riku was being extra tactile today and Sora wanted to roll over and scream into the blanket when he thought about why. He was still so embarrassed over what happened that morning. He freaked out over his friend going for a run, even calling KAIRI in his panic. It was ridiculous. Riku did everything for him and Sora couldn't let him get a couple of hours alone? 

_Everything for you._

Images flashed in his mind and Sora pushed his palms into his eyes trying to block them out. He needed to get over this. Riku died for him and even though he couldn't remember Sora OWED him and was paying him back by being an anxious, clingy, nightmare ridden nutcase. His brain went to the worst places if he didn't know what Riku was doing for more than five minutes. He was worried Riku would get sick of babysitting him.

Sometimes, Sora thought maybe it would be better if he told Riku what happened, that way he wouldn't just be pegged as overdramatic. But he couldn't do that. It was one less painful thing for Riku to know about. 

He sat up and tried to ease the ball of anxiety in him with the real Riku. He spotted a flash of silver and found him swimming diagonally across the water. He went out pretty far, but Sora knew they had both been swimming before they could walk. 

Eventually, Riku stopped swimming and turned over onto his back and floated. Sora smiled. He looked so peaceful and Sora was glad he was also getting a chance to relax. 

Sora drank him in, looking at his wet silver hair glistening in the sun, body splayed out in a way that seemed strangely vulnerable. He looked so... pretty like this. If he was honest Riku looked pretty all the time, always had. Sora even used to tell him so when they were really little until adults stopped laughing at it and started frowning and telling him he meant HANDSOME. 

Sora leaned back on his arms and kept watching. Riku was handsome, but in moments like this, he was also pretty. 

++++++++

By the next week they had a pretty solid routine. Riku would wake up early and go for a run, always leaving a note even though he knew Sora would know where he was. Then he'd stop at the fruit stand and chat with San and Kellior, though he never bought anything. The first time he stopped at their regular food stands and bought their usual, fruit, fresh fish, and the special loaves from the baked goods stand, Sora was upset that it meant he had no reason to stop and talk to everyone for as long and looked pouty for the rest of the day. Riku couldn't help finding it funny, because Sora stopped and talked with everyone that day anyway.

Usually, by the time he was done with his shower Sora would be awake, though sometimes he was still sleeping and Riku could take the time to read alone. He was rarely alone while they were here. Sora always wanted his attention, to talk or go to the beach or just lie on the couch together and play games on their gummy phones. Sora was even clingier here than at the tower, and at first Riku worried it was because he was uncomfortable or felt unsafe, but then he realized at the tower Sora usually had plenty of more people to get attention from. Normally, having someone in his space demanding his attention practically 24/7 would drive Riku crazy. Like everything else, Sora was the exception. 

Today, they decided to eat their breakfast in the little clearing near their house. It could barely be called a clearing since the trees surrounding the property weren't that dense, but it was still a spot of space where there were even less trees. They had taken to lying down in it on a blanket and eating breakfast, watching the exotic birds flying over head. This time, one of the birds touched down a little ways away from them and stared. 

"Buttercup!" Sora said excitedly, sitting up. "Nice to see you again."

"Why are you talking to a bird?"

Sora reached into the bowl next to them and picked up a few grapes, throwing them at the bird. "She's my friend! I met her the other day. We bonded." 

Riku laughed and shook his head. Sora really made friends with everyone, even the animals. Suddenly, a memory came to him. 

"Hey, do you remember that time you got a crab stuck to your hand but it was the most stubborn crab ever and none of us could help you get it off? And then we finally asked Wakka's dad for help and he got it off and you started to cry because you said you and the crab had become friends and you were going to miss it?"

There was a light dusting of pink on Sora's cheeks. "No," he mumbled, not looking away from the bird.

"Yes you do," Riku teased. Sora finally faced him to glare. 

"I remember nothing of the sort!" The bird flew off. "See what you did? Your boring, _made up_ story chased Buttercup away."

They both kept up their challenge facades for a second longer, playfully glaring at each other, before erupting into fits of laughter. 

"That did happen, I was so weird," Sora whined between laughs. 

Riku chuckled and smiled. "You are weird. And you make friends everywhere you go." Sora smiled back, and something in him went warm and soft like melted chocolate. He looked away to preserve his sanity and lied back down to try and focus on his book. 

"I've been thinking about home a lot lately," Sora said softly a few minutes later.

He stopped reading and placed the book open on his chest. Sora was looking up at the trees. "Yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah. It's really different here but so many things bring back little memories. Of what it was like when we were kids." 

Riku waited for him to continue but when he didn't he picked his book back up again. 

"Actually, there's something I want to ask you," Sora said as he sat up suddenly. "It's really been weighing on me." 

Riku took his time folding his page and closing his book. He rested it next to him and finally pushed himself up. "Okay." His heart sped up, worried about what had Sora so serious.

The boy in question was looking down at the grass, picking at it absentmindedly, legs crossed in front of him. "Not long before..." 

Riku always knew what that pause meant. _Before our lives changed. Before I betrayed you._

"Before that night, maybe only a week or so actually when we were still making preparations to leave. We were talking about how excited we were for our adventure." They both smiled, the edges curled with sadness. They were so naive back then. "And I said the only part I didn't like was how much our parents were going to miss us."

Riku's heart started beating triple time, suddenly knowing where this was going.

"And you said 'not mine.' And then you wouldn't explain when Kairi and I tried to ask you why. You shut down the conversation and then I never had the chance to ask you again before we left. But I thought about it the other day and it's bothering me. Why did you think your parents wouldn't miss you?"

He looked to his left, staring at the beach between the trees. He remembered _exactly_ what Sora was talking about. Why he said that. 

"Because they weren't." He could feel Sora's frown. 

"They're your parents. Did you and your mom fight again?"

The "I wish" came out before he could stop it.

"What?"

"She wasn't speaking to me!" He blurted out, finally looking at Sora's concerned face again. "She hadn't spoken a word to me in a month. She wasn't going to miss me." The last part came out so softly and Riku looked away again, this time beneath him. He realized he was clutching onto the blanket tightly, his hand shaking. He felt the hurt so clearly it was like he was fifteen again.

"She hadn't spoken to you...for a month? Why? What happened? How could she do that!?"

Riku almost smiled at the righteous anger in Sora's voice. Always quick to defend his friends.

"I...told her something she really didn't want to hear." He peaked at Sora and found the defiant expression in those eyes, as if he was going to summon his keyblade right now and run off to yell at Riku's mother. It made his chest hurt. It was either that or the rate his heart was pounding away. 

"What the hell could you have said that would warrant her not speaking to you? She's your _mother."_

_"_ ItoldherIwasgay." It came out so fast, so quietly, like a quick gust of air and he wasn't sure if Sora heard or understood. It was quiet for a long while, nothing but the sound of waves and the birds squawking overhead. The shaking in his hands traveled up his arms.

_Fuck. He shouldn't have said that. Fuck, fuck. He ruined it. He ruined everything Sora was mad at him mad at him for not telling him mad that he let Sora keep pressing close to him in bed when he knew-_

"You're gay?"

There was absolutely no way Riku could speak over the clog in his throat. He nodded, hair falling even further forward for him to hide behind. 

"Oh Riku." He could hear and feel Sora scooting closer to him and then there was a tan calloused hand holding his. "That's terrible. I'm so sorry."

Was that it? He wasn't mad? He wasn't weirded out about holding Riku's hand like this? 

"Riku," Sora repeated, more sad, more desperate, and suddenly Riku had arms around him and hair tickling his neck. He couldn't resist resting his forehead on Sora's shoulder, the familiar seabreeze scent tickling his nose. He thought he might cry, but nothing happened.

"That was a horrible thing for her to do. You must have been so lonely."

Riku's heart twisted painfully. He hated how easily he could remember the feeling.

"Did you ever tell your dad?"

Riku shook his head. After the way things had gone with his mother, he never even entertained the idea. He thought being at his dad's house more often would make him feel better, not like a ghost living in someone's home. But all he could think about was how one confession would ruin their relationship, how his dad would no longer want to joke and hang out with him if he knew what he really was.

"I'm so sorry." Those arms wrapped tighter around him and Riku felt like the air was being squeezed out of him. He didn't say anything, he couldn't. 

"A month," Sora whispered. "You had gotten so much more focused about leaving back then. Was that why?"

Riku nodded again. "One of the reasons, yeah." The other reason was when he realized what he was, he couldn't help but wonder if there were other worlds out there with more people like him. A world where he wouldn't be so weird. So lonely.

"I wish you had told me." Sora adjusted himself so his chin was on Riku's shoulder, arms someone managing to grab even tighter. "I wouldn't have let you stayed there. You could have lived with me." 

Riku laughed. "I don't think your mom would have appreciated that." 

Sora pulled back finally, hands still resting on his shoulders. "My mom _loves_ you," he said seriously. "She would have given you my room and made me live in the pantry or something.

"Your mom wouldn't let you live in the pantry. You'd eat everything in sight."

Sora giggled at that and his eyes lit up, making something in Riku loosen with relief. He couldn't handle more of being looked at with so much pity.

"Okay, true. Then we would have shared my room, whatever. The point is she would have let you live with us. And she wouldn't care, you know. About you being gay." His hand reached up and cupped Riku's face gently. "And I don't care. You know that right?"

He did now. "Thanks."

++++++++

"Am I a bad friend?"

"...What?" Kairi said in the most confused tone Sora had ever heard her utter. Which was saying a lot. 

"Am I a bad friend?"

"Sora how could you even ask me that? Who in the world could have a better friend than you?"

He sighed. "Riku."

"Do you want to explain what you're talking about? And why you're in a tree" Kairi's curious eyes pierced him through the gummy phone.

He chewed on his lip, doubt fluttering away in his stomach. "I can't let Riku hear me. I...I need to tell you something. But also I'm not supposed to tell you so you _have_ to keep it a secret Kairi. I mean it you can't tell anyone. And I also can't tell you the whole thing so you're just going to have to help off of what I do tell you."

"Okay. You have my word. Is everything alright?"

"Fine! Everything is fine it's nothing dangerous." Sora reassured. He knew he was being weird and he didn't want to worry her. They've all had enough worry.

"So," she said after a beat of silence. "Are you going to tell me or what?"

He sighed again, trying to figure out the best way to tell her without telling the whole truth. He already felt guilty telling her this much. 

"Okay. Do you remember when we were kids, like, well like a week before everything happened?" Sora only knew how to speak of the beginning of their journey in vague terms. _Everything, before, just before, you know when we..._

_"_ And we were talking about traveling and I said I felt bad that my mom would miss me and Riku said his parents wouldn't miss him?"

He heard Kairi's small intake of breath. "Oh. Now I do, yeah."

"Well something reminded me of that and I asked him about it and. Basically him and his mom had a really bad disagreement and when he said that they hadn't been speaking for a month."

"What?" Kairi's blue eyes echoed all of the righteous anger he felt when he thought about it. _How could she?_

_"_ So, wait, where was he living? With his dad?"

Sora shook his head. "He never told his dad about it. So he was just living with her most of the time like normal. He told me he could ask her the simplest question and she wouldn't even act like she could hear him. She wouldn't even look at him."

"Poor Riku," now Kairi was looking off to the side, eyes distant and sad. "Why didn't he ever tell us?"

"That's what I want to know!" Sora yelled, flinging his hand out and hitting it against the tree trunk.

"Is that why you asked if you're a bad friend? _Oh Sora._ I'm sure you didn't do anything to make him not tell you. That's not your fault."

"I thought we told each other everything," Sora said sadly. 

"No one tells each other _everything_.”

"I tell him everything!"

"Do you really? You can't think of a single thing you've kept from him."

Sora was silent, turning his face away in guilt and felt his cheeks heat. _Not Everything_.

"Mhmm."

"It's not the same! I'm not hiding anything...anything like that. I'm not hiding something in my life being wrong!" His voice went soft. "Riku is always there when I need him. Always. His mother casted him aside over something _so stupid_ when he was fifteen. He must have been so lonely Kairi. I could have been there for him. I should have been."

"And you would have been, if he had told you." Kairi sighed. "Riku's always been like this Sora. He doesn't talk about things, he doesn't ask for help. And he was probably embarrassed. Or scared. Wouldn't you be? He probably felt like if his mom could abandon him so easily anyone could."

"I guess..."

Kairi's kind eyes stared at him through the screen of his gummy phone. "What's still bothering you?"

Sora looked down and picked at a loose piece of trunk. He shifted, the twinge in his back telling him he would have to leave his hiding place soon.

"He gives me so much Kairi. He's always there when I need something or if I want to talk or spar, even if he's busy or he'd rather do something else he never turns me away. He protects me from my nightmares. What do I give him in return? I feel like a burden instead of a friend." _Riku holding his keyblade high, ready to charge. His bright light being swallowed by the darkness._

"There is no world, no universe where Riku thinks you're a burden. He could never think of you like that Sora."

"Well that's what I feel like."

They sat in silence while Kairi tapped her lip, lost in thought. 

"Okay, look. You could never be called a bad friend Sora. I mean that. You are literally the best friend anyone could ask for." Her conviction brought a small grin to his face. "I think this problem is just an issue of your personalities."

He frowned. What was wrong with their personalities? "What do you mean?"

"Riku doesn't really talk about what's going through his mind unless it's really important. If it's related to a mission, or research or he thinks someone might get hurt he will. But little things? Riku doesn't really bother. With most stuff he's happy to just go along with whatever. Do you know how many times I've been buying food and he told me to just get him whatever I'm getting everyone else? If it's not specifically going to bother him he doesn't say anything about it. But you always say what you think."

Sora's frown deepened.

"And it's not a bad thing!" Kairi added quickly seeing the look on his face. "It makes you a really great leader. But it also..." she stopped to think again. "If Riku's first instinct is to go along with everyone else, especially with you, and your first instinct is to say exactly what you want, he's never really going to refute you because he's perfectly happy doing whatever you want to do. Yeah if you said you wanted to jump into an active volcano for no good reason he'd say no. But if you say you want pizza and Riku wants sandwiches, he'll just go with you to have pizza because he still likes pizza so he's not going to bother saying anything."

Sora chewed his lip again, turning over what Kairi was telling him in his head. It made sense but... "But I want him to say something! He should be able to want things I don't want him to just go along with whatever I want. I want to do things for him too. But I can't do anything for him if he doesn't tell me what he needs."

Kairi hummed again. "Maybe you need to give him space to say what he wants? If there's something you want him to make a decision about you need to make him. Don't say what you think and put him into a position where he has to give his opinion. You could start with the really small stuff, see how it goes over."

Sora broke out into a big grin. "Kairi, you're the _best_. That is a great idea."

She giggled. "Yeah I know. Now go enjoy the rest of your vacation and stop being weird and hiding in trees."

++++++++

"Hey Riku!"

Riku was pulled out of his thoughts by a voice and a man running over to him on the beach. He was on his normal morning run and had been lost in thought over the conversation he and Sora had the other day. _He knows. And he doesn't care._

"Uh, do I know you?" He asked the tan man who had ran over to him. He had a black tank that matched his long black hair, and he was holding a volleyball under one arm.

"Sorry! I'm San's nephew Roy. He's mentioned you and Sora and I've seen you running before. We're usually out playing." He pointed behind him and Riku took in a group standing around a volleyball court, some glancing over like they were waiting for something.

"Oh, sorry, hi," he responded. Feeling weird this stranger knew who he was.

Roy tossed the ball in the air. "So, do you want to play? We're one short." 

He glanced at the net again. It honestly sounded like fun and he was considering it. But then he thought about how he'd get home later than usual, and what happened the last time Sora didn't know where he was. 

"Sorry, I have to go. Maybe another time."

Roy shrugged. "Sure no problem. See ya!" He ran off and Riku made his way back to the house.

++++++++ 

His first plan when he got back was to go shower, but when he got upstairs to his room he heard a soft voice call for him down the hall.

"Riku?"

He smiled and went to Sora's room, leaning against the doorway with his hand on his hip. "Hey sleepyhead."

Sora smiled up at him, only his head visible from beneath his burrito sheet, the sunlight streaming through the glass ceiling creating a halo around his messy bedhead. Riku's heart fluttered.

"Hi. How was your run?"

"Good. Hey, did you know San had a nephew?"

Sora nodded. "Yeah he's mentioned him." Of course he knew that. Where was Riku for these conversations? Sometimes he swore talking to people was one of Sora's powers.

"Oh. Well he stopped me today to ask if I wanted to play volleyball."

"Cool!" Sora sat up in excitement. "How was it?"

Riku raised an eyebrow. "I don't know. I said no."

Sora's smile quickly dropped to a frown. "Why?"

Riku stalled a little, not having anticipated the question. He crossed his arms. "Uh, I didn't want to get back too late."

"It's 10 in the morning what do you mean-" Sora looked away when he put it together, and Riku felt terrible about how guilty he looked. "You thought I would worry."

He didn't know what to say, and he watched as something determined took over Sora's face.

"You shouldn't have done that. If you wanted to play you should have played. I would have been fine."

Riku didn't understand Sora's tone. Why did he sound upset that he skipped out on volleyball? 

"It's not a big deal Sora. I wanted to come back."

Sora looked at him for a few more seconds and then fell back into the bed. "Okay. Enjoy your shower."

Riku lingered in the doorway for a few more seconds, feeling like he did something wrong and wanting to ask what, but not finding a way. He turned around and went back to his room.

++++++++

It kept happening. At the beach Sora asked him if he wanted to go swimming and Riku stood to join him and he repeatedly more firmly "Do you _want_ to go swimming?" With a look Riku could not decipher. Why would he have gotten up if he didn't want to go? He responded with "Don't you want to?" and Sora sighed in disappointment and moped away towards the water. 

When they were walking along the boardwalk and talking about what he wanted for lunch he stopped suddenly and started pestering Riku about what _he_ wanted. Suddenly seeming annoyed when Riku told Sora he was fine with whatever. 

Sora was acting strangely all day, his reactions to Riku off and throwing him for a loop. At first, he tried to brush it off but after so many instances he knew something was wrong. He tried to be rational, tried to think objectively about it but he could only come back to the same conclusion. He told Sora he was gay and now he was acting weird. He didn't completely understand how Sora's behavior was connected to his confession, but it must have been somehow. It was the only thing that changed. 

_You never should have told him. You knew this would happen._

He shook his head. Maybe he would just give Sora space until they figured things out. 

++++++++

Sora buried his head between his legs and groaned, not knowing what to do. He had spent the last ten minutes agonizing about deciding. Usually, after dinner he and Riku would lay on his bed and enjoy the crystal clear sight of stars the ceiling provided. Tonight, Riku went to go take a shower like he usually did and then never came back out. Sora was trying to be patient. He had to consider Riku's feelings. He spent some time talking to Kairi about their day and then playing games by himself. But when Riku still didn't appear he came upstairs and slowly walked by Riku's room. The door was cracked and Sora could see him reclined on his bed, book in hand.

Now he was in his room not knowing what to do. Why was understanding what Riku wanted so _hard?_ He obviously wanted to read, but Sora knew that sometimes he got so lost in a book he completely lost track of time. So maybe he would want to look at the stars with Sora and he just hadn't realized. But if he went in there and asked would Riku say the truth, or just agree? 

He stood up and paced around a bit more, trying to think. It wasn't like he couldn't ever say what he wanted ever again. He would just go in there and make sure he wasn't bothering Riku. Maybe he could let Riku lie beside him and read and Sora would look at the stars, and not talk his ear off like he normally did. 

Feeling better, he marched over to Riku's room and knocked on his door lightly. 

"Hmm?" 

"Hi," Sora said when he pushed the door open all the way. Riku wasn't looking up, his eyes still flying over the words. He felt his confidence leave him. This was dumb. If Riku had wanted to look at the stars with him he would have. It wasn't even that late, maybe he would come to Sora's room when he was done reading. 

At the silence, Riku finally looked up. "What is it?" Sora swore he sounded annoyed.

"Nothing! Nevermind." Riku frowned and looked even more upset. 

"Why are you acting so weird? Say whatever you were going to say."

"No! I wasn't....you're reading! I didn't mean to bother you."

Riku sighed and the level of _tired_ it expressed stung.

"Since when do you care if I'm reading?" 

And wow that. That told Sora a lot. He was worse at respecting Riku's feelings than he thought. 

"I do care," he said gently. Riku was looking at him so suspiciously. "It was nothing, really. Keep reading. I'm going to bed." 

He walked back to his room, Riku's confused and ever so slightly angry eyes haunting him.

++++++++

Riku fell into Sora's nightmare so quickly he had to take a second to orient himself. He was confused when he realized he was on the play island, unsure of how this could be a nightmare when he saw nothing but the hot sand and endless ocean. Then he heard yelling. He saw Sora's spiky head on the hill with the papou tree and took off. 

On the bridge he stopped short when he realized what he was seeing. It was himself, yelling at Sora who was trembling from head to toe with his head hung.

"Why the hell would I want anything to do with you!?" His nightmare self yelled. "After everything you've done to me! You're so selfish, Sora! All you do is take take take you're nothing but a-" 

Riku hurled himself at his doppleganger with a yell. He pulled his fist back and was only able to punch his disgusting face once before the nightmare clone disappeared. He turned to face Sora who was sitting on the floor staring at him with wide teary eyes. 

"It's okay," he said softly. "It's me." He walked over and stuck a hand out to help him up.

++++++++

Sora jolted awake with a whine stuck in his throat. He pushed the sheets off him and jumped out of bed. _He needed he needed he needed-_

There was pain in his nose and he heard an "oof" from above him when he collided with Riku in the hallway. In an instant, Sora wrapped his arms around him, clinging. Strong arms came around his shoulders and fingers were running through his hair.

"Ssh. It's okay. It's okay it's me the real me. I'm here it's okay. I would never say that to you."

He buried his face in Riku's chest, paying no attention to the tears he was getting all over his friend's shirt. He had plenty of nightmares, but that was one of the worst. Riku had been looking at him with such hatred. Anger and betrayal leeching out of his eyes and voice. 

" _After everything you've done to me!" Like get you killed._

He took a deep breath and tried to let the real Riku's soft words soothe him. A sweet scent tickled his nose. He took another inhale, the breathing helping to control his crying.

"Always smell so good," he mumbled. He felt the rumble of Riku's laugh through his chest. 

"I'm going to remind you of this moment the next time you complain about how many showers I'm taking." 

Sora giggled and the tightness in his chest loosened. He held Riku even tighter. His Riku, the sweet, kind one.

The hand in his hair stopped and tapped him lightly. "Let's get you back to bed." He felt Riku's body tense up to take a step forward and he whined. They paused.

"Can we go to your room?" He asked barely above a whisper. Sora wanted to be surrounded by him. His smell and his sheets and Riku's warm body pressed against his. Riku in all of his senses. 

"Yeah," Riku responded, not a trace of annoyance in his voice. "Of course."

++++++++

Sora woke slowly, first registering the sun warming his face, then the thin sheet that was still too much for the island heat, then the subtle up and down movement of Riku's chest against his cheek, his shirt tickling Sora's nose slightly every time his chest expanded. He opened his eyes and saw Riku was awake, looking at something on his phone. He could tell from the sun that it was late morning, and Riku was still in his pajamas which meant he didn't go for a run today. _Because of me._

"Morning," he said, voice coming out rough from all of the crying he did last night.

Kind green eyes looked back at him. "Barely," Riku said with a chuckle.

Sora rolled off of him onto his back, staring up at the plain white ceiling. The familiar sweet, almost floral smell surrounded him again. "Sorry."

He didn't have to look over to picture Riku's frown. "Why? You don't have to be sorry. That nightmare...you know I would never say anything like that to you, right? I've never even thought it."

"I'd deserve it if you did," Sora responded before he could stop himself. 

"W-what?" 

He regretted speaking and kept staring at the ceiling, tracing the patterns in the paint.

"Sora look at me," Riku pleaded.

He turned his head briefly but had to turn away again at the concerned look. "You missed your run." 

"My...what? Who cares?"

"You like those runs." Sora couldn't keep the petulant tone out of his voice.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Riku's voice was going from confused and concerned to confused and annoyed. "Can we go back to the real topic? Why would you say you deserve-"

"Because I do," Sora cut him off. "Because I am selfish. You do so much for me, done so much for me. You always have to protect me." _Die for me._ He wanted to shut his eyes and hide from this conversation but he was afraid of what he'd see behind them.

A hand touched his shoulder gently. "I like protecting you."

Sora shoved him away and sat up. "I don't want you to protect me anymore!" Now he had to shut his eyes at the plain shock and hurt on Riku's face. 

_Riku holding up his keybalde. "You don't believe that." Riku disappearing._

When he finally opened his eyes again Riku was turned away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

Sora swallowed and lifted his hand but for some reason he felt like Riku wouldn't want him to touch him.

"I..."

Riku let out a long exhausted sigh. "Just say what you really want to say."

"What?"

Riku's back tensed even further. "Say why you don't want me...around you anymore. I won't be mad. I don't blame you for feeling like it changes things just...say the truth."

Sora opened his mouth but he didn't know what to say, feeling like he completely lost track of the conversation. He wracked his brain trying to figure out what Riku was talking about. What would have change things between them? 

Oh. "Oh. Riku no this isn't...no no wait." Sora crawled closer to him. "Do you think this is about you being gay?" The way Riku flinched when he said "gay" made him want to cry.

"I understand," Riku said, voice gravely. 

"No! No you don't understand you're not understanding me at all." Sora's heart was hammering away in his chest and he couldn't stand to look at the resigned slope of his friend's shoulders. He was messing everything up. 

He moved over the rest of the way and wrapped his arms around Riku from behind, eyes prickling with tears as Riku let out a surprised sound. 

"I do _not_ care that you're gay." He squeezed tighter. "I don't care about that at all it changes nothing for me you're still my best friend." He could feel how stiff Riku was in his arms.

"Then why did you say-"

"Because I don't want you to keep sacrificing yourself for me!" Sora's voice was thick and his tears finally made their way out of his eyes and onto his cheeks. "You lose sleep for me," he rested his hand over Riku's shirt where he knew the scar on his hip was, "you get hurt for me. You..." _You died for me._ "I don't want you to keep protecting me because I'm afraid I'm going to lose you!" 

His arms were trembling by the end of his confession, hands digging into Riku desperately. 

"Sora." Riku faced him and ran a hand through his hair. "You're not going to lose me." 

"I already have!" 

Riku's eyes widened and his face was openly worried and puzzled. Sora knew what he had to do. 

"I need to tell you something."

++++++++

Riku tilted his head back and let the hot water wash the shampoo from his hair, not even bothering to fight back his grin. They had a long talk after Sora's outburst and he found out the whole story. And while he felt bad that Sora was so upset he couldn't help the burst of pride that was in him. He really did that. He was brave and protected Sora with his whole being. 

His smile widened and he even let out a little laugh, feeling almost giddy. He grabbed his conditioner and thought about their talk, Sora begging him to promise not to do anything like that again. He eventually said it because he knew it was what Sora needed to hear, but it was a lie. He would sacrifice himself again in a millisecond. Over and over again, as many times as he needed to. He would do anything for his most important person. His light. 

++++++++

Once they had talked about what was going on, things were able to go back to normal. They went back to being comfortable around each other and Sora said he didn't feel like he was coming off as needy and crazy now that Riku knew the truth. And he also talked to Riku about how he should open up more. That was more awkward for him than learning he had died, knowing Sora was analyzing him like that making him feel exposed. Still, he understood where Sora was coming from and promised he would try, and Sora said he would try to help him. 

Sora's version of helping was very cute, spending the next day refusing to say what he wanted to eat unless Riku said what he felt like first. Even when Riku would resist Sora would close his lips stubbornly and glare at him until he decided. 

It was strange, thinking about food this much. When everything was going on there wasn't time to think about food. He rarely knew if he'd get a chance to eat, forget choosing what to eat. He didn't notice until now how deeply the habit stuck. He gladly ate when it was meal time but he didn't really care what he was eating anymore as long as it wasn't disgusting. He had sort of forgotten that food was something he should have an opinion on. 

Sora always had an opinion on food, as evidenced by the moan he let out as he bit into a pastry next to Riku. 

"Are you sure you don't want one?" He asked, mouth full of food.

"No. I'm full." He stared at the happy expression on Sora's face for a second before turning back to his book. 

They were sitting on Sora's bed relaxing after eating dinner there. Riku thought eating in bed was gross, but Sora insisted he wanted to eat and look at the stars. He pointed out that they could go _outside_ and look at the sky, but Sora made good points that bugs would bother their food if they went outside, which was true, and also the view wasn't the same, which was also true. The uninterrupted view from the glass ceiling was magnificent, making the sky feel so close they could reach out and touch it. 

Sora was happily chatting away in between bites next to him, the words not really registering while he read.

"Hey Riku?"

"Hmm?" He asked, turning the page. 

"Does it bother you when I talk while you read?"

Riku looked up at that. "Huh? No. Why would it bother me?"

Sora was staring at him suspiciously. "Because you're _reading_ except you can't because I'm interrupting you."

He shrugged and turned back to his book. "You're not interrupting me. I usually tune you out."

"Excuse me!?" He couldn't hold back a smirk at the indignation in Sora's voice. "You tune me out?"

"Yup," he said, holding back a laugh. He kept his eyes on his page but he definitely wasn't reading anymore.

"Since when!?"

"Since always," he said with a chuckle. And it was true. Sora had always talked a lot and Riku quickly realized he only needed to occasionally hum in agreement unless Sora asked him a direct question.

"Always! Are you serious?" 

Riku finally looked away from his book and at Sora's offended expression. He could feel the laughter bubbling in his throat. 

"You do talk _a lot._ I'd never get any reading done if I actually listened to you."

He tried to keep it together but he couldn't take Sora's affronted face any longer and he finally let the laughter burst out of him. 

"You're an asshole!" Sora pushed him over and it just made him laugh harder.

"You should see your face. I can't believe you didn't know."

Sora stuck his tongue out petulantly and smacked his arm. "I take back what I said. I don't want to hear what you think." But the smile on his face told Riku he didn't mean it. Still, Sora crossed his arms and faced the other way like he was going to ignore him. 

Riku finished laughing and picked up his book, barely reading. It was no time at all before he could feel Sora glancing over his shoulder. He knew going right back to reading would rile him up. He kept up his act for a bit longer, even turning the page for effect, and felt the bed dip as Sora came closer.

"Riku." 

He kept reading, having to bite the inside of his cheek to not smile.

"Rikuuu," Sora whined, coming even closer so his head was hovering next to Riku's shoulder. "Don't ignore me."

He did just that, lips twitching. 

"Riikuuuu answer me! I can see you laughing!" 

He did laugh at that, a soft chuckle escaping before he bit it back. He refused to give in and kept looking at the page. That made Sora even angrier. He pushed Riku's book down and then made him turn his head.

Suddenly, their faces were very close together, Sora's angry blue eyes taking up most of his vision. 

"What?" He asked, trying to stop himself from looking at Sora's lips.

Except Sora pouted, and Riku was only human. "Stop ignoring me."

He rolled his eyes to both keep up his act and give him a reason to look away. "Okay fine. What do you want to talk about?"

His stomach flipped when Sora smirked at him, blue eyes lighting up mischievously. 

Riku yelped when there were suddenly tingles down his spine, and not the kind he usually got looking at Sora. He jumped off the bed and pulled at his shirt, realizing Sora had dropped ice cubes down his back.

"Damn it Sora!"

His friend was curled in the bed laughing so hard he was clutching his stomach, feet kicking wildly. 

"That's what you deserve for ignoring me!"

Riku tried to glare but he couldn't, heart too content at watching Sora laugh so freely. He pulled at his wet shirt and sighed. "I'm going to go change."

"Why? It'll be dry in two minutes!" Sora yelled after him. Riku ignored him.

++++++++

They were walking along the boardwalk, Sora reenacting a battle story Kairi told him, Riku nodding along at the right parts and saying "yes I promise I'm listening" because now Sora had to make _sure_. 

"Hey," he said, interrupting the ending of his story. "What's going on?" 

There was a small stall set up in the middle of the boardwalk, the awning painted pink with red paper hearts hanging from it. He pulled Riku over to it and waited until the crowd of people moved so he could get to the front. 

"Hi!" A girl greeted him kindly. "Do you want to join the raffle?"

"For what?"

"The Love Day raffle!" She said, pointing to a sign. "Three days before we raise money for the local animal shelter through the raffle. The winner gets 300 munny and giant chocolate heart. We announce it at the bonfire." 

"What bonfire?" 

The girl laughed like he was being silly. "On the beach! There's a big party with music and chocolate stalls and drinks. It's fun!"

Sora nodded and pulled out the munny for the raffle ticket, noticing Riku do the same. Neither of them cared about the prize, but he was happy to donate to the animal shelter.

"Thanks," he said to the girl when she handed them their tickets. "See you." He waved at her and walked away, fingering the little pink ticket covered in hearts. 

"Hey Rikuuu," he clutched his friend's arm to stop him from moving. "Are you gonna be my date to the Love Day party?" He asked, bumping their hips together teasingly. 

Riku gave him that look, the fond look that made Sora feel like he had been sitting still for too long and he needed to move, to do _something_.

"Of course."

Sora smiled brightly and kept holding Riku's arm as they started walking again.

++++++++

"Wow! This is so cool!"

Riku had to agree. It was really nice. It was the day of the love day party, and the beach was crowded with people. The boardwalk had more stands than usual, people selling drinks and ice cream and chocolate, plus gifts for loved ones. On the sand there was a big bonfire as well as a volleyball game happening, music blasting from somewhere. 

Sora vibrated with excitement next to him, eyes darting to every interesting thing. 

"Look! It's San and Kellior."

They walked over to a stand where San and Kellior seemed to have exchanged their usual fruit merchandise for cocktails. 

"Hi boys!" San greeted when they came over. "Happy Love Day."

"Happy Love Day," Sora greeted back, eyes lighting up as he looked at the menu. "What are you selling?"

"Drinks! We have a Love Day special. Want to try?"

Sora nodded. San looked over at Riku who shook his head. If Sora was going to drink one of them should have his wits about him. 

San placed a fluorescent pink drink down in front of them. "Here you go. One Perfect Soulmate."

When Sora took a sip from his drink his eyes lit up. "Try this!" He shoved the drink under Riku's chin who obediently took a sip. 

"Huh. That's good." 

"You should get one," Sora urged. Riku hesitated, feeling like the responsible thing was to say no. He saw Sora's face fall and then brighten immediately. "You can have mine instead," he offered.

Riku was touched by the gesture. Sora knew what was holding him back and was offering to stay sober so he could have fun. He turned and signaled to San, pushing Sora's own drink back towards him. 

"One won't hurt." 

They explored the other stalls, looking at all of the desserts and presents available. Sora ended up buying a headband with two light up hearts sticking out of the top, but even he couldn't get Riku to wear a matching one. 

They had stopped at where a group of people were surrounding a table, some sort of card game going on. They didn't look like any cards Riku had ever seen but he was enjoying watching and trying to figure out the rules of the game. His focus broke when Sora squeezed his arm. 

"Stay here. I'll be right back."

He nodded and turned back to the table. It still hadn't clicked but he could feel himself slowly recognizing more patterns to the game.

"Boo," Sora said a few minutes later. Riku turned away from the game and raised an eyebrow at the refilled pink drink in his hand. "Another?"

Sora shrugged and Riku noticed his other hand was behind his back. 

"Close your eyes."

He put a hand on his hip. "Are you doing to throw ice cubes down my back again?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "No ice cubes! Just close your eyes it's a surprise." 

He did, feeling comfortable until Sora said "open up." He hesitated again but he heard Sora whine his name in complaint and finally complied. Something slipped into his mouth and he had to hold back a shiver at the feeling of Sora's fingers grazing his lips.

"Oh," he said when he opened his eyes and the object started melting in his mouth. "That's really good." It was chocolate, the really dark kind that Riku liked. Except there was also something fruity and familiar he couldn't quite identify.

"It's zebra fruit dark chocolate!" Sora grinned proudly and pulled the bag from behind his back, filled with several wrapped chocolate hearts. "You should see what they look like." He held his drink in. the crook of his arm and unwrapped one of the chocolate, holding it out for inspection.

Even though the candy had tasted dark, the heart boasted a familiar while and brown swirl design. Something about the light and dark swirls melting together over the heart made it hard to breathe.

Sora shoved the whole bag at Riku. "Happy Love Day!"

Riku smiled down at him, fondness fluttering in his stomach. "Thanks." He turned back to the game to try and distract himself. 

A few minutes later he felt Sora shift impatiently next to him. 

"Hey, are you going to keep watching this?"

Riku's first instinct was to ask Sora if he wanted to leave, but then he thought back to the talk they had. He felt close to figuring out the game. "Yeah." 

Sora gave him such a proud look he had to bite back a smug grin. 

"Okay! I'm going to look around. I'll meet you back here in a bit."

Riku nodded and watched him go, turning back. Without Sora next to him he could fully focus. There seemed to be 15 different suits, and they were separated into orange black and purple. He spent a lot of time watching the game, deciphering the rules similar to analyzing the fighting style of an enemy. It was all about picking up patterns. 

Once he understood the concept, he turned to see where Sora had gone. He wasn't surprised he didn't come back yet, knowing how easily Sora bounced from one thing to the next. He moved away from the table and scanned the scene, finally seeing Sora laughing with an older woman who seemed to be trying to teach him some kind of dance move. He watched them for a minute, taking in Sora's gleeful form illuminated by the flames. His stomach twisted hard. Sometimes loving Sora was like being tickled past the point of comfort, when you went from laughing too hard to begging for mercy. Except Riku didn't want it to stop.

He walked over and Sora greeted him happily, introducing him to the woman who was teaching Sora some type of cultural dance. When she tried to get Riku involved he felt himself flush and quickly pivoted the conversation to the intricate tattoos that were covering both her arms, and he ended up sitting next to her on the log bench deep in conversation, barely registering when Sora told him he'd be right back again. 

A bit later it hit him Sora hadn't returned and he broke away from the conversation to glance around. "Where's Sora." The woman glaned around as well and shrugged. He was about to excuse himself to go look for him when a high pitched "Riku!" hit his ears and he tumbled over the back of the bench and hit the sand. 

Sora had knocked Riku over the bench and was now laying on top of him, his body so limp he felt like dead weight. He heard laughter and looked over Sora's shoulder to find San watching them happily. 

"What the hell?" He pushed them both up and dragged his body from underneath Sora's until they were both on their knees in the sand, Sora leaning against him heavily with his arms around his shoulders. 

San crouched down next to them and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry to say he got the jump on us. Kellior and I were swamped at the bar and we didn't realize Sora was ordering from each of us while the other was distracted until he was three drinks in. I gave him some water but I figured I should come find you."

Riku frowned down at the boy with his face buried in his neck. "Are you serious?" 

Sora giggled, completely unashamed. "The drinks were yummy." 

He sighed. Everyone knew Sora was a lightweight. They sometimes had wine with dinner at the tower and no one was allowed to let Sora have more than one glass, preferably half a glass. 

Sora giggle again. "Sorry," he said in the least unapologetic tone ever, his mouth brushing directly over Riku's pulse point. He couldn't hold back his shudder.

"Get up," he demanded as he pushed them both to their feet, mostly so Sora would stop breathing on his neck like _that._

San laughed again as Riku got them situated, Sora's arm slung around his shoulder so he could walk them back. 

"Have a good night, boys. Make sure he drinks plenty of water." 

Riku nodded and said good bye to everyone, much lower than Sora's high pitched "'night!" He heard San and the woman laughing as they walked off. 

"You're going to regret this tomorrow." 

"Mmm no," Sora answered, stumbling a little on the boardwalk. "I had fun. No regrets."

++++++++

Getting Sora up the stairs was a bit trickier, he basically had to drag him the whole way. Sora had been giggling and singing the whole way back, and Riku thought maybe he should be more annoyed but he didn't have it in him. It was strangely normal. They never had a chance to get up to this kind of thing before their lives were thrown upside down. Riku wondered if he would have had to carry Sora home like this in another life, walking into his house to find Sora's mom frowning at her son in disapproval. He smiled at the thought. She probably would have found it funny, even though she wouldn't let on. 

He got Sora into his room and tried to get him to sit on the bed, but Sora wouldn't let go. 

"Come on," he urged, wanting to go get Sora more water before he passed out. 

"Not yet," Sora complained and clung tighter even with how uncoordinated he was. Riku sighed and indulged him, holding him up in front of the bed. Sora pulled back and looked up at him, blue eyes dazed and sparkling in the starlight coming in from the ceiling, his heart headband askewed on his head. 

"Thanks," he said softly. "I've had a really good time."

"You're welcome."

Sora pouted. "Did you have fun?" 

Riku rolled his eyes and grinned. "Yeah I had fun."

"Did you like your gift?"

“ _Yes_ Sora.”

He grinned widely. "Dark chocolate is your favorite," he said slurring. "I know that much about you." 

Riku couldn't stop his face from going soft, not with Sora looking up at him like that, both of them tinted blue in nothing but the moonlight. 

"You know a lot about me," he answered softly. 

Sora kept staring at him with wonder and straightened himself up a bit, bringing their heads closer. His hand cupped Riku's face and his heart skipped a beat. 

"You look so pretty," Sora whispered. His thumb stroked over Riku's cheek and he felt his heart pick up in fear this time. 

_Stop_.

"Always so pretty," Sora slurred some more. His thumb moved lower and traced against Riku's bottom lip. "My pretty Riku."

He could feel his hands shaking, a tight ball growing in his throat making it hurt to swallow. 

_Don't. Please._

Sora pressed their lips together and Riku felt something in him crack, like he was about to split open. 

_Mercy._

He felt Sora sway against him and remembered how spectacularly drunk he was. Riku pushed him down onto the bed and stepped back. 

"Go to sleep," he tried to say as firmly as possible. Then he turn and ran to his room.

++++++++

Sora giggled as he fell back on the bed, stars above him melting together into glorious white streaks. He felt so g _ood_. He felt something tickle his cheek and touched it, his fingers coming away wet. Was he crying? He pressed his other hand to his eyes but they didn't feel wet. And he didn't feel like crying. He felt too nice to cry. 

He held his fingers up above him, trying to get his vision to stop swimming long enough so he could figure out why his cheek was wet if he wasn't crying. The next second he was out. 

++++++++

Riku spent all night tossing and turning, dozing in and out of sleep. The tight feeling in his throat never went away, it expanded down to his chest and felt like it was going to take over his whole being. His only saving grace was that Sora didn't have any nightmares that night. He didn't know how he could handle it if he did. How he was supposed to comfort Sora, curl up next to him with this burning thing in his chest. 

He couldn't stay here anymore. He needed to move. He needed his keyblade and an endless room of heartless to cut through. The sun wasn't out yet but it didn't matter. He quickly dressed and left a potion and note on Sora's nightstand, careful not to wake him. Then he took off on his run. 

He ran all morning, going from one end of the beach to the other four times, making sure to stay on the softest, most unstable bit of sand, the burning in his legs the only thing keeping him grounded. The sun was coming up, the clinging gray tint the only evidence of the previous night. He heard someone call his name. 

Riku turned and just barely managed to catch the volleyball thrown at him. Roy was there again. Pointing at the ball in his hand and clearly waving him over to play. He was going to refuse at first, subjecting people to his awful mood seemingly a terrible idea. But then he thought about it, hitting a ball around, diving into the sand before it hit the floor, his whole focus on keeping the ball in the air and realized it was exactly what he needed. 

++++++++

Sora woke up with a groan, hating his glass ceiling for the first time. It was letting in all the blinding sunlight that was making his pounding headache worse. He pulled the sheet over his head and had no plans on getting out of bed until he felt the bile crawling up his throat and he ran for the bathroom. 

When he was done throwing up more than he ever had, (including that time when he was seven and caught the stomach flu, gave it to Riku, and then caught it from Riku _again_ ) he crawled out of the bathroom and spotted the potion on the nightstand, gulping it down gratefully. He immediately started to feel better and could actually think once the pounding in his head began to subside. He noticed the note on the nightstand and smiled, thinking about last night. 

Even though he felt terrible, thinking about the night before filled him with warmth. The music, seeing their friends, watching Riku open up to people, getting drunk. He hadn't gotten drunk before, besides that one dinner incident they weren't allowed to speak of. This was the first time he got drunk in a fun way, at a party, like a normal teenager. His cheeks flushed thinking about Riku basically having to drag him home, Sora trying to get him to sing along to some dumb song, Riku putting him to bed. 

He stretched and got up from the floor, feeling much better. He wandered out and realized Riku wasn't back from his run yet, even though it was kind of late. Instead of panicking he focused on their link, assured Riku was fine and decided to pack some food and go find him. Before doing that he went back to his room to change, feeling gross in his clothes from last night. He felt something in his pocket and pulled it out, blushing when he remembered what it was. The tag he had taken off the bag of zebra fruit chocolates before giving it to Riku. It was shaped like a heart and had information about the origins of the fruit on the back. 

_Why give zebra fruits to your beloved? The zebra fruit is said to have been invented by a god who was in love with a human who refused to leave the mortal realm and join his. He created the zebra fruit and left it behind as permanent evidence of their love, to live on after she had passed. The unique flavor and black and white combination represent the light and dark sides of their love coming together to creating something beautiful that will live on forever.”_

_++++++++_

Riku hit the volleyball again, arm making a satisfying smack against it. He knew he was hitting harder than he probably should, but the others didn't seem to mind, enjoying the challenge, and his own team definitely didn't mind since they were on a winning streak. He didn't care at all about the score, all he cared about was the way that playing until the sun was high in the sky and he was dripping sweat had loosened most of the tightness in his chest. 

The other team was hitting the ball over the net and Riku had his eye on it perfectly until his heart thumped and he looked to the right, spotting Sora coming over with a bag slung on his shoulder. He turned back just in time to see the ball fly past him and land in the sand. Someone on the other team laughed. 

"Hey finally a point for us!"

Their team resituated, Riku served the ball and soon they were back in the game. His side was flowing well, all of them hitting the ball back over until Riku heard a zipper open and glanced over to see Sora sitting on the floor near the net, taking something out of his bag. The ball flew past him again and the was more cheering from the other side. 

"Thanks Sora! We couldn't get anything past Riku until you showed up!" 

Riku wanted the ground to swallow him up, but Sora just chuckled and yelled "you're welcome" back at her. He envied how Sora could move through the world with so much ease. Like nothing happened. 

_Because he probably doesn't remember._

Riku turned and faced the ocean, pretending to take a moment to catch his breath. 

"I need a break," one of the guys from the other team whined. The rest agreed so Riku had no choice but to walk over to where Sora was sitting. 

"Morning," he said cheerily. 

"I guess the potion worked," Riku answered as he sat next to him.

"Mhmm," Sora answered around a bit of a fish patty. "Thanks."

"Sure." He didn't say anything else, still watching the ocean. _He was drunk. Knowing Sora he was aiming for your cheek and missed. Get over it. You know this is impossible._

"Water?" Sora was holding out a bottle from his bag. "You look thirsty." 

"Thanks." Riku took it, making sure to keep his fingers far away from Sora's, feeling too raw to handle them touching. 

"It looked like you were having fun."

"Yeah," Riku replied, trying to grin. "Not as much fun as you had last night."

Sora laughed, clearly unbothered. "Sorry about that. I know I must have been really drunk. I don't remember much after tackling you in the sand. Some singing, I think."

Riku turned away and tried to be relieved. Sora not remembering was good. It meant nothing, everything could go back to the way it was. Nothing between them had changed, but Riku still felt horrible. _Get a grip._

"What do you want to do now?" Sora asked.

"I could use a nap. I didn't get much sleep."

++++++++

Riku wasn't napping, he was hiding. He could admit that. When they got back he had spent 40 minutes in the shower, wishing the growing force inside him would just consume him already. His eyes kept stinging, but every time he touched them they were dry. He didn't now how long he spent in bed trying to talk himself down. He was being so _stupid_. Sora was drunk, and did something dumb, why couldn't he get over it? The kiss was so meaningless Sora couldn't even remember.

That was the problem, wasn't it? That touch was another that meant nothing to Sora but it shook Riku to his core. That was the whole dynamic of their relationship. Sora thought they were friends, and to Riku he was the world. 

++++++++

Sora was at the point where he was pacing freely throughout the whole house, waiting for Riku to come down. He noticed Riku looked a little off this morning but he figured the nap would help. He wanted Riku to feel better, but the wait was killing him. He had decided this morning he needed to tell Riku. Today. As soon as possible. He couldn't keep putting it off. Or messing up his shot because he was so nervous he got drunk. But now he had to wait for Riku to get up and he really could do nothing else but walk from the kitchen to the living room to the bathroom and back.

"Sora?" He spun and saw Riku standing at the top of the stairs, watching him in confusion.

"Riku! You're awake!"

Riku came down the stairs and met him at the bottom. "Yeah," he said.

"Are you feeling better?"

Riku nodded, his expression still guarded. "Are you alright?"

"Oh! I'm great," Sora answered enthusiastically. For a second he wondered if he should wait until Riku looked a little more lively, but he knew if he did he'd chicken out. "Actually, um, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Riku's expression immediately shifted to concern and Sora wanted to smack himself. Pacing anxiously and telling someone you needed to talk to them wasn't exactly a good look. 

"Don't freak out! It's nothing bad. It's good...I hope." Riku did not look more reassured. 

Sora put his arms behind his head and leaned back. "So, do you remember your gift from last night?" Something flickered across Riku's face so fast he couldn't catch it.

"The chocolates, yeah."

"Yeah," Sora laughed. "Well there was another part to it that I haven't given you yet." Riku's eyes widened and Sora had to hold back a nervous laugh. He had planned this moment over and over in his head since this morning. He was going to show Riku the tag, and when he asked for an explanation Sora would kiss him and then they'd be making out against the nearest surface. Hopefully.

He pulled out the tag and handed it over. "Read this." He watched Riku's face, biting his lip in excitement. He tried to be patient, waiting for the tentative happiness he had imagined. 

"What is this?" Riku asked, not looking up. 

Okay, he was confused. Understandable. Sora just had to be clearer. He stepped closer and put his arms around Riku's neck, the hand holding the tag stuck between them. 

"It came with the chocolates. It explains why zebra fruits are considered the most romantic food here." Riku still didn't look at him. He ran his hand into Riku's hair. "I bought those for you because I-" Two hands gripped Sora's arms tightly. 

"Stop." Sora froze.

"What?"

Riku finally looked at him, and he never once imagined the anger and pain that was in his eyes. 

"Please stop it."

Sora couldn't move, his brain unable to process what was happening. Then he was being shoved to the side and Riku was running out the door.

++++++++

He could hear Sora calling his name behind him but he didn't want to stop, couldn't stop. The crack in his chest widened and he felt like if Sora came near him he'd break apart. He stopped when he reached the clearing. Sora was still coming after him and the last thing he wanted was everyone staring at them while he ran down the beach with Sora yelling his name.

"Riku," Sora said softly when he caught up. "Why are you running? Please talk to me." 

He didn't face him, staying turned around with his eyes shut. He felt the crevice split a little bit more. "What the hell are you trying to do?" 

"What did it look like I was trying to do?" Sora asked in exasperation. 

"You're straight, so I have no idea what game you're playing" he responded bitterly, hating how he could feel himself trembling in every limb. 

Sora mumbled something under his breath and then he said something that finally made Riku look at him. 

"I'm not straight."

"...What?" 

"Yeah," Sora scratched the back of his head. "I um...I like both. I didn't really have a chance to figure that out until recently, I've been meaning to tell you." 

Riku had to turn back around. He had to. He couldn't handle this. He had based his whole world view on the fact that Sora couldn't feel that way about him, it was impossible. _It's still impossible. There's a million reasons he shouldn't choose you. He doesn't know how you feel he doesn't understand what he's asking for_.

"Riku will you look at me?"

"No." _I can't._

Sora groaned in annoyance. "Riku I'm trying to tell you I l-like you why won't you let me-"

"Because it hurts!" Riku turned around with a yell. "It hurts to love you Sora!" He stalked closer, fists clenched at his sides. "Do you have any idea what it's like to love someone so much and know they won't ever-" his voice broke and he cut himself off, looking down. 

"I learned to handle that pain," he said, voice low this time. "But if you dangle everything I want so badly in front of me and then take it away I can't-" he squeezed his fists even tighter, "I-I'm not strong enough for that. Please don't ask that of me."

Neither of them said anything for a long time, energy crackling all around them, waiting for something to happen. 

"Riku," Sora said, voice hoarse. He could hear bare feet walking across the grass, two pairs of feet appearing in his vision. A hand cupped his face and he had to force back a gasp. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm not dangling anything. I'm trying to tell you I love you." 

Riku glanced up at him but looked back down, shaking his head. 

"Yes," Sora insisted, hand moving to the back of Riku's neck and bringing their heads together. He could feel Sora's fingers playing with the hair at the bottom of his neck and the crack opened more, hanging together by a thread. 

"Yes I do. I love you so much, you have no idea." Sora's breath ghosted across his lips and he shut his eyes. "And if you love me too, then you should kiss me. Please."

Riku pressed forward. Because he was weak, and could never deny Sora anything. 

They kissed hard, Riku's arms wrapping around Sora's waist and pulling him closer. Sora's arms wrapped around his shoulders, one hand pulling him in deeper by his hair. Riku felt something building inside him, the hard knot back in his throat, and he kissed Sora until he thought he was going to choke, and when he pulled back to breathe in, his exhale came out a sob. 

He shut his eyes again and the hot tears rolled down his cheeks. He tried to keep them back but now that they were here they wouldn't stop.

"Ssh," Sora pulled Riku's head to rest on his shoulder. "It's okay. It's okay I'm here it won't hurt anymore." 

Riku let out another sob and buried his face on Sora's neck, falling apart exactly the way he had felt he was going to. His knees felt weak and then Sora was lowering them both to the ground, still wrapped around each other. 

"It's okay. I love you Riku I love you so much."

++++++++

Sora sighed happily, enjoying the rise and fall of Riku's chest under his cheek. After their confessions and a really long talk (and cry), they had made out for what felt like hours, the orange and red glow of the sunset streaking through the ceiling replaced by the silver light of the stars. He smiled every time he licked his lips and felt how swollen and tingly they were. He glanced up at Riku who was looking at the sky, thoughts far away. Sora frowned. Riku should be here enjoying the moment with him. He wanted them to bask in the glow together. 

"Hey," he said, stroking Riku's cheek. He really loved how freely he could do that now. Riku had beautiful cheeks. Green eyes looked at him and Sora sat up, straddling Riku's waist. "What's wrong."

He could see Riku preparing to say nothing, before stopping himself and looking away, shrugging. Sora sighed and ran his hands up and down Riku's chest, guilt coursing through him. 

"You still don't trust this."

Riku didn't answer, but the taught line of his jaw said enough. 

"Is there anything I can do to-"

"You kissed me."

Sora blinked. "Um. Yeah. I kissed you a lot. We've been kissing for the past, I don't even know."

Riku shook his head and looked at Sora imploringly. "Before that."

"In the clearing?"

" _Before_ that." 

"What?"

Riku sighed. "You really don't remember."

Sora's eyes felt like they were going to pop out of his head. "Remember what? How could I kiss you and not remember?"

"You were drunk," he answered sadly. Sora's heart dropped and he clenched his hands in Riku's shirt. 

"Oh my god. I didn't."

Rike smiled at him, but it was tinted with sadness. "You did."

"Oh my god," he groaned, burying his face in Riku's chest. "Oh my god. No wonder you don't trust me. How could I be such a bumbling fool?" There was no response, just a strong hand running up his down his back. Suddenly, and image flashed through his mind, of silver and green and want pooling in his stomach. He shot up. 

"I did kiss you!"

Riku raised an eyebrow. "You remember?"

"Sort of?" Sora danced his fingers across Riku's face as the memory came back to him. "I remember wanting to kiss you. We were in my bedroom and you were standing under the ceiling and god I was so drunk I could barely see anything but I could see _you_. And you were lit up all over. Your skin was as silver as your hair and you eyes were so green and you looked _so_ beautiful. Just like an angel." He touched his thumb to Riku's lips, a thrill going through him at how pink and swollen they were. "I wanted to kiss you so bad." 

Riku's tongue darted out and his lips turned even glossier. Sora felt himself swaying forward but then broke from his trance when he remembered his embarrassment. "Oh my god," he groaned again, hitting his forehead repeatedly against the warm body beneath him. "That's no excuse for me doing such a...a...a cruel thing! That was so cruel Riku I'm sorry." He flopped down again, pout out in full force. He hated his past self. He was a moron.

There was a soft chuckled from above him. "I think," he felt a soft pull on his hair and looked up, heart fluttering when he caught those green eyes, the moonlight bouncing off of them so perfectly, "I could be convinced to forgive you. For a price."

They both smirked at each other and met in the middle, lips and tongues clashing together. Sora pinned Riku under him and stretched out as much as he could, trying to get every piece of Riku touching every piece of him. Eventually, they had to pull away for air.

Sora touched the beautiful face underneath him, tracing over Riku's eyebrows, down his nose, across each cheek, along his jaw, finally brushing his lips again. 

"I love you," he whispered gently. He hated the trepidation that mixed with the joy in Riku's eyes. "I know you don't believe me," he continued, shushing Riku when he tried to protest. "It's okay. I understand. I'm going to make you believe me." He touched their heads together. "No matter how long it takes. Even if I have to tell you 'I love you' ten thousand times a day every day. I'm going to make sure you feel it."

Riku was giving him that look again, the adoring, enamored look. Sora felt the familiar wiggle in his stomach that made him want to move, so he leaned in and kissed those too pink lips again. It was too easy to get distracted by kissing, and it was minutes before Sora remembered something and pulled away. 

"Wait I'm not done!" 

"Okay," Riku said with a laugh. "Don't let me stop you."

Sora stared down at him for awhile and then took Riku's hands in his, threading them together and pinning them over Riku's head. He looked down at Riku seriously. "No more protecting me." A quick squeeze cut off the protest. "We're protecting _each other_.. That's what I want. I want you by my side, not in front of me, not behind me. I want you fighting next to me. So if we're going to run off and do something dangerous, we're doing it together. You got it?"

Riku stared at him for awhile and Sora saw him gulp. He squeezed both of Sora's hands in return. 

"Okay. Together."

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe how quickly I wrote this! Let me know if you enjoyed it. I kind of rediscovered my kh obsession so if you wanna follow my new twitter you can here https://twitter.com/maredwill15


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